maaf..

minta maaf kepada rakan rakan blogger yang lain sbb aku sudah lama gagal untuk meletakkan ulasan dalam blog kamu semua. ketika ada masa untuk berblogging, ketika itulah internet tiada. ketika internet ada, ketika itulah aku menghadapi beberapa masalah peribadi. dan ketika aku tiada masalah, ketika itu lah aku tiada masa (tiada masa bukan bererti bermasalah bagi aku). aku hanya sempat membaca sepintas lalu dan hanya megambil isi isi penting seperti tengah gembira, tengah enjoy, tengah sedih, tengah busy dan juga yang tengah di dalam dilemma. tetapi takde la sampai aku buat nota ringkas. hehe

beberapa minggu yang lepas, aku mengalami sakit kepala. ketika berjumpa doktor, doktor mengatakan yang aku ni mengalami 'tension headache'. aiseh. tah macam mana tah aku leh kena tension headache ni. menurut sumber yang boleh dipercayai (Earl Hickey):

Stress is for doctors and lawyers and Army guys who have to shoot dogs and whatnot.

Earl:My Name Is Earl SE0202

dan aku bukannye doktor dan lawyer.. apatah lagi army. dan hosmet aku (kucai) pon baru menghidapi 'perkara' yang sama.

tapi yang positifnya apabila sakit kepala ni, aku akan teringat adakah masa aku telah hampir tiba? adakah ini balasan kepada aku kerana aku asyik menyakiti/menyusahkan mereka yang rapat dengan aku? ;(

tadi ketika aku membuat kerja bersama dengan seorang student master, dia ada tanya kat aku

Dia: Kamu ade masalah ke?
Aku: Ha? hehe (gelak)
Dia: Ye la. muka kamu nampak macam kurang ceria je macam biasa..
Aku: Takde lah. biasa sahaja (dalam otak aku: sebelum ni, aku adalah orang yang ceria rupanya.. hehe)

mungkin kerana aku banyak menghadapi masalah baru baru ini. dan mungkin juga kerana aku cuba memangkahi waktu tidur aku. sebelum ini, aku perlukan tdo dalam 8 ke 10 jam sehari. atau tidur seharian dan berjaga seharian. dan beberapa hari ni (kecuali sabtu lepas), aku kurang tdo - hanya 4 ke 6 jam sahaja.. kawan aku pon pelik. aku ni kejap insomania. kejap eksomania. kalo dah kawan aku yang mengambil bidang kedoktoran pon berasa pelik, apatah lagi aku yang 'agak' kurang knowledge pasal perubatan ni ;p

tapi apa pon, bagi itu adalah mindset sahaja. in the battle of mindset, i will strongly choose not to fall. that's what i've already set in my mind. (err.. kecuali aku tengah down.. hehe)

If it ends tomorrow / if it begins
It gives me no sorrow / no tears will fall to my lips
I don't know the feeling / I haven't felt this before
It is scaring / more than I thought more

On my last day / I felt alone
For you I pray / Your hope will betray
In the desert land / I felt fear
You grabbed my hand / I need to be here

If it ends tomorrow / if it begins
It gives me no sorrow / no tears will fall to my lips
I don't know the feeling / I haven't felt this before
It is scaring / more than I thought more

So close to me / the younger must stay
Nothing more to see / nothing more to say
Coming to an end / before the night is over
Trying to pretend / the time is not over
Emotions hard and rough / I am getting old
Is it enough? / this isn't the goal
The cure I can find / only deep within me
No man can save me / no man can help me

Untouched / unexpected / unfullfilled / maybe forever
My soul has been taken away
Undying / unreal / unconcerned / it's now or never
My soul has been taken away

On my last day / I felt alone
For you I pray / Your hope will betray (you)
In the desert land / I felt fear
You grabbed my hand / I need to be here

Freebird..

aku suke lagu freebird ni sebab dari cite My Name Is Earl, Season 2 Episod 20... yang ni ha..



ayat die yang terakhir ni ha best..

As crazy as it all was, it also kind of made me realize something. Sometimes happiness is about giving up something precious to get something better.

And it made me wonder: would I do the same?
What would I sacrifice to be loved?

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
'cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.

And the bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can't change.

Bye, bye, baby it's been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'cause the lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll can not change.

And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.
Lord I can't change,
Won't you fly high free bird...